I like books.


I live in a small town and enjoy writing about the inhabitants. I spend most of my time perusing through used book stores looking for that one great book that I don't have; consequently, I have rooms filled with books. I am a book addict.

Friday, July 18, 2008

These piss me off

The heat, cicadas, slow gawkers, long weeds, blood sucking insects, arrogance, men who scratch their balls in public, women who play dumb around men who scratch their balls in public, screaming kids, email assaults from right wing fucktards, and ingrown toenails.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


You know, sometimes I get all nostalgic about the first time. You know, the first time I rode a bike; the first time I kissed a boy; the first time that I voluntarily had sex. So, I’m remembering Gary. He was this blond curly haired boy who drove a maroon colored 63 Chevrolet. He and his uncle had rebuilt the engine and it didn’t always start. He took the automatic transmission out and put a standard transmission in and made the gear shift in the floor and he had this huge fist for the shift knob. There were bucket seats and an eight track player and no air conditioner. We met at my friend’s house and were sort of set up. He was my age and cute and not vulgar like other boys who were always staring at my chest and making crude remarks about sex. So, Gary and I dated and we both loved CCR and we loved cruising and he smoked Marlboro cigarettes and pot and I liked pot, and we ended up dating all the way through high school and he asked me to marry him and I wanted to but I couldn’t just marry right after high school, so two days after I got my diploma, I gave him back his class ring.
I had lost my virginity when my mom’s boyfriend raped me, but I had never gone all the way with a boy. Over that fist summer, Gary and I made out. WE made out a lot, but I would never let him take my clothes off nor would I let him do it. He tried, oh did he try, but I would say no. But then my friends were all talking about having sex and how it was so nice and I had only been raped and so I thought I’d do it. Gary and I were going to see some John Wayne movie and I say, let’s go parking and he looked at me and I say, you wanna do it. He slammed on his breaks and turned the car around and drove like a bat out of hell back to the dirt road that led to an isolated area past the coal mines. Years later, Gary’s uncle bought that land and Gary talked him into filling in the land and planting a cherry orchard. Gary always had a sense of humor.
So, we’re in the country, parked behind a little grove of trees and he is like this child who has never seen toys and then toys are there and he’s taking off my clothes and his clothes and we’re like breathing really hard and I am thinking of backing out but for some reason I am not able to control myself and we do it. It lasted only a short time and I don’t think it was all that good. I mean I’ve had much better lovers, but in all my life, I’ll never have a sexual encounter as hot or as sweet, or as erotic as that first time.

When it rain,....

Since I’ve been in graduate school, July has always been the financial nightmare month for us. I mean, we, like many others, get loans and grants to go to school and we use that money to get us through school and to help us through the summer. By July, though, we begin to run out of money and are living on hubby’s earnings, which are okay if we only had one rent and were not taking care of my daughter and her children. So, this summer, I taught, hoot hoot, and we were thinking how nice it was going to be that we were not going to have to stand in line for free soup. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but the teaching did make it possible to give the four-year-old a wonderful birthday party. Well, July is here and we have just enough money to get us through until we get our school money and then I see this email about tutors being needed at the University. So I email; they hired me, and I’m now tutoring and getting 10 bucks an hour and will get a pay check every two weeks, which will help us tremendously. Then, hubby is looking on his school account and sees where he has money that he didn’t sign for, so he runs over and signs and we got near 2000 bucks to get us through. So, yesterday, I ran to the grocery store and bought a shit load of good food, you know fruits and vegetables and sugar free cakes and many grains. Remember, on my other blog, if ya read it, I’m going to get healthy. Yeah right. Okay, it can happen.

Friday, July 11, 2008

when I'm bored

So, I tried to upload the video here so you could see what I do in my spare time. Not the dance. So, go here and laugh your ass off.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Here it is.

As you guys may have noticed, I have another blog titled Here. While I set it up to be used as a tool for my students, I didn't know how to block them from reading my real blog and so I cancelled the idea and here I am with Here. So, I've decided to use that blog to try and document my improvement of health. Many of you know that I suffer from overall crappy health and have made little effort to fix it. So, with my blog, I'm going to document goals and success at reaching said goals in hopes that I will stay focused on getting healthy.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

A soon to be doctor in the house

Last night, I learned that I am now in the PhD program and have been awarded an assitanship for four years. Oh yeah. All that's left is to turn in my thesis, which is finished, and to take my world lit comps.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Really, was it really meant for me?

Today, distinguished professor and other distinguished professors are having a big thing at the first distinguished professor’s house and so we, hubby and I, are invited. They will grill, have drinks, and shoot fireworks. Okay, at first I was looking forward to going. There are other grad students attending; I know of maybe five of us. I’ve had lunch with these guys numerous times and have been out drinking with them and to their homes and I wonder when does it ever get easy being around my professors. I was never uncomfortable around Delagar because I met her before she was my professor but these guys hold chairs and make decisions about grad students and those professors waiting for tenure. So, I’m nervous and will drink a glass of wine and will calm down, but fuck, when does it get easier? Oh, my biggest fear is that I’ll get there and find out that I am at the wrong party, that I got the invitation by mistake. Fuck. Yep, fuck.

Zelda's Rants

Okay, some updates:

Why do we care that a transgendered woman to man had a baby? I mean, he still has a uterus and a vagina and ovaries and PMS so that’s not a miracle; now if a transgendered man to a woman got pregnant then I’d be impressed!

And why is it that a judge awarded a man millions for losing penis because of a medical mistake and not once has there been even an apology for all the breasts and uteruses that have been yanked out. I mean, really, do you know how many breasts were hacked off during the sixties and seventies and there was no cancer and no money. I know the penis is important and yes it is worth a lot but so are our reproductive organs.

Okay, I hate when the political people, Rightwing nuts play with the public using hostages? I mean really, how many times hostages get release during the election process so that some rightwing nut can take credit. Do they think we are ignorant? I hate that they wait so long and make the hostages wait so long before they actually do something. I know, I know, they were doing something, but it just came together election year. Yeah, right. I’m bitter.

And finally, who the fuck cares about the fucking baby bump. I mean really, half of those baby bump suspects are truly pms or tma (too much alcohol), or tmc (too many carbs) do we really need to sit on the edge of our seats to see who is having the next designer set of twins. And please, someone stop the use of third world children being used for arm jewelry.