Really, was it really meant for me?

Today, distinguished professor and other distinguished professors are having a big thing at the first distinguished professor’s house and so we, hubby and I, are invited. They will grill, have drinks, and shoot fireworks. Okay, at first I was looking forward to going. There are other grad students attending; I know of maybe five of us. I’ve had lunch with these guys numerous times and have been out drinking with them and to their homes and I wonder when does it ever get easy being around my professors. I was never uncomfortable around Delagar because I met her before she was my professor but these guys hold chairs and make decisions about grad students and those professors waiting for tenure. So, I’m nervous and will drink a glass of wine and will calm down, but fuck, when does it get easier? Oh, my biggest fear is that I’ll get there and find out that I am at the wrong party, that I got the invitation by mistake. Fuck. Yep, fuck.