Life really sucks.

I went to the house in the valley. I’m really wanting to move back to my house. I know that if I do, then in the fall, I will be driving three hours a day at least three days a week. I’m not sure I am up to that. In addition, I really like this little town. But I miss my house, the security of my yard and my things and my familiar surroundings. I am also struggling with other things. You know, I was single for decades before I married Mr. Zelda and while he has a lot of good points, I have to tell you, I liked being single much better than I like being married. I don’t like having to explain where I am going and why and when I will be back. I hate that. I don’t like explaining why I am spending money, it’s my money. I am tired of the isolation and he doesn’t isolate me, it’s just that some of my friends don’t like him and he doesn’t like my friends, or most of my friends. There are a few who like him, but for the most part, he sees anyone as a threat to him or a threat to us. I don’t see that, and I need friends, and I have always had best friends and now, well things are just different. I know he will probably or at least eventually read this and his feelings will be hurt, but I write this blog to empty my chest of all those clinching feelings and he stumbled on it by reading other blogs and finding me or maybe he stalked me, I’m not sure, but he has found it and reads it and so he will read this and be hurt but I can’t help it. Just say it, I’m a bitch.