Just another day in paradise

Yesterday morning, Mr. Zelda slipped. He was in the shower and slipped, while he didn’t fall, he did lunge forward and sideways at the same time. I didn’t see this almost fall, but he limped downstairs to relive the incident with not only movement but sound effects. “I went, OHHHHH.” That kind of thing. Anyway, so he goes to school, I go to school and while he told me his knee really hurt, I thought, since he didn’t fall, that it was fine. I left school early to go to my uncle’s funeral, and after the funeral, Mr. Zelda and I meet up. He is limping and can barely get into the car. I take him to a doc in the box place. The doctor, who was maybe five, moved his leg this way and that way and reluctantly x-rayed it. Boy was she and I both surprised when the x-ray revealed a broken leg, and you ask, “How guilty do you feel?”

So, we leave the truck on the campus down the mountain, and I am driving us both up the mountain. He is almost knocked out from good drugs. I pass a big truck and all of a sudden a truck comes up behind me, the driver had his lights on high and was blinking them off and on, and he was honking his horn, and I was going to get over into the other lane, but first I had to clear the other truck. That maniac began going around me before I could get over and had I not moved over, he would have killed us. When he gets around us, something hits our car, and I’m thinking he threw something out of the truck. I tried to get his tag number and just my luck he pulls over. I go about a mile up the road and pull over too. I call the state police, all I want is the tag number so I can get insurance information.

The police tell me to stay put, and if the guy leaves to follow at a safe distance. The police arrive and the guy is dog drunk and they arrest him. Yes, he even tried to get physical with the state police. Can you imagine? So, the police arrest him and tell me to have my car looked over and if there is damage, to call him and he will make sure the right insurance information is obtained. In the mean while, the guy, Mr. Drunk-Driver, is in jail. Oh and the cop, who was also all of five, says to my husband and me in that voice you only use with small children and old people. “You guys need a badge and uniform. You may possibly have saved someone’s life.” Mr. Zelda, who is high on pain killers, laughs and I’m thinking the cop might think he has smoked pot, so I say, “He’s on pain killers. Broke his leg. Just came from the doc in the box.” The cop smiles and says, “Okay then. Nice job.”

On our way home Mr. Zelda says, “We have become them.”
I say, “I know. I’m the old woman that finishes your sentences, explains your behaviors, and has to let even strangers know what has just happened in our lives.”