She was pale and thin and looked awful

Yesterday, I had to go to the doctor to have my blood work drawn, a thing to get me pumped up for surgery. Anyway, I ran into my daughter. She was tweaking, which in the world of Meth. means she was higher than a kite and couldn’t stay focused on one thing for more than a minute. She has dyed her hair this orange/blond and it looks awful, plus she looks like she hasn’t slept in about a month. I asked about my grandsons and she told me that they were no longer my grandsons. I asked her what was she going to do when they revoke her probation, she said, I have signed my kids over to Karen, her drug addicted fuckwit friend. She told me I was a fucking fat assed whore and she wished that I would die. I shook my head. Later, she called my son and told him that if he wanted to see the boys, she would let him see them, but I was not to come. She said that I have abandoned her, that I was the one to blame for all her problems. My son reminded her that it was the drugs that caused the rift and not me. I think she has court in two more weeks. I talked to the district attorney and they said that no matter how it pans out, she will likely go to prison. I am in the process of getting qualified from the state to take custody of the baby; the seven-year-old will stay with his father. I called my attorney and he laughed and said that once she goes to jail, no matter what papers she has drawn up, I will step up and get the baby; that is a guarantee. For now, I just hope that she is taking care of him. It has been almost a month since I last saw him. One month. I don’t know what hurts me the most, that she hates me so much or that she refuses to let me know how my babies are doing. I know it’s the not knowing, but what was my crime? I mean, what was it or when was it that I became her enemy. All I have ever wanted was for her to get treatment for her addiction. If it means her going to jail and being forced into some kind of therapy while in prison, then that has to be the solution. With her being free, she will not go without drugs, and she will not take her thyroid for her graves disease. She is truly a heart attack waiting to happen. Sometimes, I wish that I wouldn’t run into her, but then when I see her, I know that she is still alive.