Fuck

I come home today feeling really confident. It was my Latin quiz, I did really well and feel I am a contender, but anyway I get home and I’m all in a good mood and Mr. Zelda is being a jerk because he is stressed and he is tired and he is worried and we are poor and on and on and on. He has to study and he has to run and he has to work and finally I say why are you doing this, why are you going to school if it is so hard and you are not enjoying it and if you see it as a burden to hard and to stressful? He says it’s he has to work and no one else does, that no one is me. I say other people work and I contribute because I have disability from the wreck and he says that he means the guys at school and I say they work, they have families, they are busy busy like you. I say that maybe if he feels so compelled to finish his bachelors then perhaps I should just get a job teaching at high school and let him finish and he can quit his job and then when he gets finished, I’ll go back. I mean, he had no interest in school until I came back then after my first or second semester then he decides he wants an English degree, not a computer degree, which he was working on a few years ago, but an English degree. I say it is a lot of writing and a lot of reading, things he wasn’t too fond of and he says okay and he follows me to school, knowing he is going to have to work. I say it will be hard and he says it will be okay then I start graduate school and I say that I can’t handle the stress of his complaints and he says he won’t complain and so all I hear is complaints and I am so stressed out and I get over one hurdle like my Latin quiz and he starts his shit and I am drowning here. Now he is wanting to quit his job, transfer up here and pile more stress on me and I remind him that we need his insurance and finally I just say fuck it and for him to go on and get his bachelors and go to graduate school and I will get a job and he can focus on school because frankly I am tired of hearing his negative, complaining shit. I want my sanity back and if it means putting graduate school on hold, then I will do it. He says no you stay in school and I’ll keep my job and all of that but it’s his nagging and gripping and negative stuff all the time and I do not want to hear it. I am thinking today he will be nice but tomorrow it will be the same o shit but different day. I need a new backpack and I say I can get one at the store for about twenty bucks and he says 20 bucks is out of our reach. I just put 6000 dollars in the bank and now he says it is already spent, just because of my 300-dollar dictionary and he is punishing me and this is the only place I can vent without actually having a fight with him and I can’t fight anymore. I just won’t do it. I am going to study Hawthorne and hopefully he will repent and be good for a few days. I don’t know.