My Big Fat A

Okay, I did my presentation for Many Book Published Doctor. Yes, he is head of everything and his word is like a god’s. He teaches Lit. Theory and SciFi and other things and has a say whether you get a TA position, or if you even get into the English degree program, not that I have to deal with him that way, since I am in the Comparative Lit graduate program, but he is a good man to impress.
I am also a one drafter, and usually spend a lot of time thinking about a paper before I write it, and I usually get up the morning the paper is do and whip it out, like in an hour or sometimes a little more sometimes a little less. I do, have my research done and usually have research notes or know where the information is, but for this presentation, I was freaked. I didn’t think he would give me a good grade. I keep having these feelings, thanks to Dr. Dick who made me feel like I was this stupid old woman and needed to be back rocking grandchildren and baking pies, these feelings, yes, well I keep feeling like I don’t belong, that I am out of my element, that I was a really good undergraduate but not a good or really good graduate student. Well, Tuesday, I woke up and whipped that paper out in less than two hours, and went to class and read it and fell apart thereafter. All my friends told me that spent at least ten hours writing on their paper, and I just knew that I had bombed. He had emailed everyone their grade by Tuesday night and by Wed. afternoon, I knew what everyone made but not my own grade so that fed into my-what the-fuck-am I doing here attitude. Finally I emailed him and he sent me back the email that he had sent and it must have gotten lost but I got an A, not just an A, but one higher than the other’s in my group. I got a good A, one that is not a slope down. I cried. I know that is silly, but Dr. Many Published Books, gave me an A and said in his comments that my presentation was excellent and that he enjoyed my presentation and the only thing he would change is more focus on either language or culture. So, there you go. I did, as he noted, use Bhaktin for my theorists and he, as you all know, is a language/culture kind of guy. So, he, Dr. Many Published Books, agreed that I did well in reading Bhaktin and applying it to Rushdie. Okay, that’s it, I’m finished. I have arrived.