Cauldron

I like books.

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I live in a small town and enjoy writing about the inhabitants. I spend most of my time perusing through used book stores looking for that one great book that I don't have; consequently, I have rooms filled with books. I am a book addict.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

I never knew that nutritonists could be so much fun!

You know, I’m so tired of the naughty food. You know the good protein versus the bad protein, the good fat, the bad fat, the good carbs, the bad carbs. My god, you have to have a Masters in nutrition just to know how to eat. How do I know this, I went to see a nutritionists, yes, because I have that blasted pernicious anemia that has caused me to drop in blood cells both in quantity and quality and even in their ability to carry oxygen to my body parts. Now you all know, if you know me, that I am oxygen deprived from having so many complicated diseases in my life. So, all of this is to help my lungs, believe it or not. Really, the antibiotics that killed my stomach, yes, they, too, were for my lungs. Now, the good food, well it’s to build up my blood so I can have this surgery to remove a wedge of my stomach so that I can not be in pain and not have a cancer festering potential in my stomach and so that I can be ready for the next bout of pneumonia that I get and be able to take more of that poison that while it kills the pneumonia bacteria, it also is killing me, stomach wedge at a time.

But I really like this nutrition woman. She had all these little plastic pieces of food on her desk and was really impressed that I knew what serving they were and how many calories and fat and carbs and sodium. I told her I was a lifer, and she says a lifer and I say, yes a lifer of dieting. HA! She then told me that I had small hands, do you think she was hitting on me? Nah! I always thought I had huge hands. But back to the nutrition woman who is really nice and if I were gay, I think I might have a crush on her, hell, I’m not gay and I have a crush on her. She gave me her home phone and email, I gave her mine, and we agreed to meet for coffee and discuss, Latin. Yes, it is everywhere I go.

Okay, I have to eat over 100 gms of protein a day. That’s what she said, and she gave me this powder that I can sprinkle on my food to enhance the beans with red meat iron. I asked her if it was made for animal parts and she said no. I believe her. So, I can continue to eat food without faces, although I do back slide and do eat face food, but I make sure they are range raised face foods, and are killed humanely. She suggested over the next few weeks, that I just eat meat, no beans, they are not the really good protein for building up blood by way of all the amino acids and peptides and she used a lot of digestive words that I don’t remember from anatomy.

So, my question is, is it too soon to email her. I mean I just met her and don’t want to seem eager to have a friend. If I email her say Monday, it will seem like I am not eager but still interested in being her friend. What do you all think?

Oh, she also told me that while celery is a good food for constipation; it really takes up to much room in the stomach and keeps the other essential nutrients from getting to first base. I like that, essential nutrients getting to first base. WOW! She could be a writer.

2 Comments:

Blogger Thomas said...

Do you have this person's number?

5:27 PM  
Blogger zelda1 said...

Ha ha. Yes, she gave me her home phone and email. She is really nice and very smart. I think she even knows how to hot wire a car, very good thing to know.

6:26 PM  

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